Went to a baseball game today with my family. Someone told my grandma about my ED. All day she was asking me about eating and sleeping and making sly comments about how I need to stop abusing my body. She forced me to eat pasta so I forced her to realize I smoke cigarettes. I get weird with crowds and I was freaking out so she gave me a vicodin like that would help and then proceeded to agree when I jokingly told her I should get on meds. Everyone I saw said I looked tired and tried to feed me. I went to work at like 2am to help clean because I didn’t want to go home and I was high on sugar free no calorie amp and vicodin and when I got there I had some beer. They all begged me to get some sleep and said I have these huge circles under my eyes but I don’t think they’re that bad. I ate fries at the game so I fell fucking not good. And my boyfriend is confusing me because his mom thinks I’m the devil and ruining his life. I just might be, honestly.

Calling Dad for weed tomorrow I suppose. Well today since it’s 6am. Just cleaned the shit out of my apartment though so that’s good but I’m not fucking eating tomorrow.