I don’t even think I have an ED. I’m pretty sure I’m actually bipolar/ manic depressive with really bad ED like tendencies. I fucked a lot up in one month. Fuck. I broke up with my boyfriend because I realized I didn’t even love him. He just loved me and I liked that. Which is nice. I haven’t ate a real meal in two weeks. I don’t even know how much I weigh but I definitely lost the little bit of, “Oh I’m in a relationship let’s go out to eat,” weight.

I let the boyfriend move in when I didn’t really feel comfortable with it. I continued to lie to him, constantly.

Then to top it all off I let the boy I used to be kinda fucking move in with us. Then boyfriend moved out and I broke up with him so now it’s just me and that boy and it’s not even awkward. It’s very calming actually.

Oh and I got fired from the fast food place. But I’m probably getting my job back. But that’s a story for another time.

I haven’t eaten today. Probably won’t. Me and my mom finally made up and she knows everything (possible ED, weed, bipolar) and she’s taking me to see if I’m still under her insurance so I can finally go see a legit head doctor.

In fact the best thing I did this month was forgive my mom. If you read this call your mom. Seriously. Most of the time they actually do care.

I have no idea what to do, but things are going to get better I hope. I just don’t want to be put on the zombie meds they give my mom.

I swear to god if I could smoke weed legally I would be fine. It mellows out my high/low moods and sometimes even makes me eat. I’m less angry and I can think.

I love how I turned this weird update into a pro marijuana post.:/